This was a hard one...

It's been a while since my last blog post.  Honestly, I haven't even wanted to blog.  To be 100% honest, I've been on a little dance with the devil.  It was something.  Not like I was ever worried about my well being, or that I was going to go off the deep end or anything, but I can say with complete confidence that I have never experienced anything like it before.

I think it really started when I lost my grandmother.  It was like I  realized for the first time that life is short and it REALLY does go by fast.  After her funeral I just kind of put all those feelings on the back burner.  Months later,  my daughter turned 11.  In my mind, my life started replaying the last 11 years in fast forward.  It was football season, and I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off.  Running to soccer practice, going to flag football, games on Friday, Saturday and Sunday... all while I started back to school.  Hoping I was making the best decision for myself and family.  Trust me when I say, I am NOT looking for sympathy here.  I get it...everyone is busy and has their own issues.  I don't take one single day for granted.  I count my blessings and I'm well aware that I have been blessed.  I have a supportive family, the best friends anyone could ask for, my health, and a job that works well for me.

A few days ago I came across this saying about Gemini's.  It fits me well...

It got me thinking.  Why not talk about what I'm truly feeling. Why pretend that everyday is perfect because it's just not?  I consider myself a very laid back person, maybe to a fault.  I am accepting of anyone and everyone.  I am a black or white person...it either is or it isn't.

So, looooong story short. I began to question my life.  It's not a secret. I was 6 months pregnant when I got married.  I have a love for my daughter that is indescribable.  She has made me who I am.  We have figured out our last 11 years together.  I had to grow up faster than I wanted to, make decision before I was ready to, and be a wife before I wanted to.... All of that to say, I started questioning everything.  Was I really doing what I was supposed to be doing?  

I can whip up some mean mac and cheese, comfort a sick baby, talk 24/7 about breast feeding, study spelling test, sing Barney songs...the list goes on.  But, was this it?  A mom?  I had this constant thought that kept popping in my mind that there was more.  

I don't want to sound selfish, but really I kept thinking what have I done for me?  I just wanted more...it was that simple.  So, I made some goals.  

1. Be yourself.

2. Be around people that will inspire you not bring you down.

3. Lose the drama...in all parts of my life.  Ain't nobody got time for that!!!

4. Look in my kids eyes everyday...like really look in their eyes.

5. Right when I wake up list five things I'm grateful for.

6. Help someone out everyday.

7. Go back to school.

8. Be more spontaneous.

9. Eat clean.

10. Work my a*% off everyday, so I can get in the best shape of my life. 

Looking back the best way I can describe it is this visual I kept having in my head.  I was at the bottom of this hill with a heavy backpack on, and the sun was hot.  I was just walking, and walking, and walking, and walking.  Sometimes, my head was down while walking, and sometimes my head was looking up to see how much further I had to go.  I'm almost at the top of hill.  I'm almost over all these doubts and fears.  I got there from setting goals, and turning my doubts into spending time at the gym or doing something I love. 

When I step back and look at my life, I know I wouldn't change a thing.  My kids are my life.  And really, that is all that truly matters.

So, here is to 2013. It's going to be the best year yet.

Choose Love

Cassi

Cool at 8

Apparently, 

when you turn 8 you become way cool.

But, not so cool that you don't give your momma a hug and a kiss in front of your friends...

I'm not going to even pretend. This boy has me wrapped.  He has from the first time I held him.  I couldn't get enough of him them, and I can't get enough of him now.  

He's a momma's boy....

like big time. 

Recently, I heard him say, "You mess with my momma, you mess with me." 

I hope it never changes...

Happy 8th Birthday crazy boy!  I can't wait to celebrate all weekend long.

Choose Love,

Best Party EVER

We had a ball! 

 Lyssa was surround by friends and family that truly love her.  We couldn't have asked for anything more.

After a flag football game, and a soccer game...it was on.  We started hanging lights, lanterns, banners, baking, wrapping, slicing, and celebrating.  

Lyssa chose to have an art party this year, it was my favorite party yet!

I owe a HUGE thank you to Roxanne Spradlin for giving up her Saturday afternoon to spend it with my girl and her friends.  She was the best art teacher we could have asked for.  Her generosity keeps going and going. I love you with all my heart!

These two are actually a whole lot alike...

They started with a colorful art palette, and a blank canvas... 

Little by little we watched their art change from this...

To this...

And finally to this...

Aren't they just adorable!?! 

Each girl found her inner artist, and I hope when the girls look at their creation they will smile and remember what a happy day it was.

I'm serious when I say this was the best party EVER! 

Thanks again to all the family members and friends who helped us celebrate this girl... 

She continues to make me smile...

Choose Love

Eleven

On this day, eleven years ago, I was holding my new baby girl.  I don't think I put her down for like a year.  She was perfect.  While our friends were having fun and living the college life, we entered the world of the unknown.  Looking back...I wouldn't change a thing.

We didn't know what we were doing, but we knew she was ours and we wouldn't have it any other way.  She has made us who we are.  We really don't even know life without her.

It brings tears to my eye to think about our journey with her.  She really is the best daughter I could ever ask for.  She is hysterical, fun, has a fashion of her own, caring, loves her family, and has an enormous heart.

Today, we will add another candle to the birthday cake.  I will get teary, and reminisce on this past year.  She will hug me and tell me how much she loves me...

Can't wait to celebrate this day with you.  I love you Lyssa Kate!

Choose Love,

Lately

Last weekend was pretty much perfect weekend through my eyes.  Spending four days on the lake with the people who mean the most to me...just can't beat it!  

I consider myself very lucky and blessed to have access to a boat, live within minutes of an awesome lake, and share it with some of my favorite people!

Whether it's building frog holes, 

Having a race, 

Playing in the water, 

Pretending to be lightning bugs, 

Cooking supper in the dutch oven,

Or, just enjoying the view ;)...

We always have the best time and create some great memories!

However, my absolute most favorite part of the whole weekend..

was this girl!

 She begged us to let her ski.  I admit it, I didn't think she would be able to because all we have are adult skis.
We decided to let her give a whirl, and that's exactly what she did.
I don't know why I ever doubt her! 

Cause if at first she doesn't succeed,

She tries again, and again, and again...

Until she does...

This was actually her second time to get up, but I was so excited the first time I forgot to keep the camera on her :)
Please excuse all the crazy voices in the background, we were a wee bit excited!

Lyssa Kate,
You never seize to amaze me! I love your determination and will to never, ever give up!

On another note, it's Friday!!
We have our game shirts on, a T in the yard, and our tickets are ready.

I got in a bleacher run in this morning while Tate help set up the field with Coach Berna...

 And a little pre-game with daddy.

The stadium is empty now, but it won't be for long...

Go Wildcats!!

Beat Westlake!!

Choose Love,

Ready or Not

There is something different in the air.  

I recognize the smell, and the feel. 

 Oh, yeah...it's football season!

As much as I hate the time Aaron is away...

I do love some football.  

I love to watch him coach even more.  

He's kinda crazy, but that's the reason he's so fun to watch.

These kiddos are ready to cheer on the wildcats!

Meet mini coach Dunnam.  

He's got a whistle and he's not afraid to use it!! 

School also started this week.  So far, so good!  

The kids love their teachers.

I know I say it all the time, but time really does fly by.  I can't believe my babies are in the 2nd and 5th grade.

It blows my mind...

Tater, we are going to have to work on your spelling :)

Choose Love,

Cool Chicks Wear Blue

So, every year we Temple coaches wives are lucky enough to be 'wined and dined' by our first lady, Roxanne Spradlin :).  I'm not going to lie, I look forward to the invitation every summer.  She makes sure every little detail is covered from the front door, to the decorations, to the food, and to the fun! It is over the top! 

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. Being a coach's wife isn't easy, but it sure does help when you are surrounded by people who care and love ya. 

Roxanne, thanks for being my home away from home.  You will never know how much it means to me that you are willing to do whatever it takes to make me (us) feel so special and loved.  

Check out Roxanne's blog for more details and pictures...I couldn't have said it better myself!

Here's to another football season...

It's gonna be a good one!

Go Wildcats!!!!